The Gottman Method is an evidence-based approach to help couples build stronger relationships overall and healthier ways to cope with issues as they arise in the future. I use the following principles to help individuals develop greater insight to relationship difficulties and to offer new approaches to building healthier relationships.
Nearly every couple says that they want to communicate better. Did you know that 69% of what couples argue about never gets resolved? Only 31% of issues are actually solvable. That means that most conflicts are not going away because they are due to differences in personality, temperament, and values -- all of which are deeply held. So, if it feels like you've been discussing the same issue again and again, you're right and it's normal! The Gottman Method is based on 20+ years of research on actual couples and offers proven methods of how to dialogue through differences with understanding, care and affection.
Couples who build strong foundations of positivity are more successful with de-escalating conflict and finding compromise. So in the Gottman Method, there are clear methods to improve communication AND increase positive interactions. As couples succeed in building a positive culture within their relationship, they begin to experience a greater sense of connection and togetherness.
As couples succeed in building communication and connection, they often learn that their strong emotional reactivity is triggered by earlier relationship wounds unrelated to their current partner. Intimate relationships can trigger earlier unresolved hurts because maintaining connection to our early caregivers and peers was vital to our growth. As individuals learn about and understand how their past wounds are affecting them currently, they can increase compassion for themselves and their partner. Luckily, past wounds that create strong emotional reactivity can be treated. Learn more about treatment for emotional memories.